For years, perfection and control were my survival strategy. If I could predict every outcome, foresee every risk, and execute flawlessly, then maybe life wouldn’t fall apart the way my anxious mind feared it would. Psychologists note that perfectionism often links to higher anxiety, depression, and burnout (Curran & Hill, 2019, Psychological Bulletin).
Can you recognize yourself in that too?
Recently I was reminded how this perfection still sneaks back in — dressed up as service, as helping others, as looking polished. It feels useful, but it’s still control. Researchers call this “socially prescribed perfectionism” — the belief that others expect you to be flawless (Flett & Hewitt, 2002).
Even though I don’t know much about astrology or numerology, I find meaning in the idea that 9 represents endings — a time when shadows surface before they can be released. And here we are in September. My old self is screaming to survive — the version of me who lived by control and precision. It makes sense: my old career in taxes rewarded those traits. But now, as I step into a business rooted in healing, authenticity, and purpose, that old version is dying.
September also calls me inward. After a summer of warmth, activity, and growth, I feel the pull to rest, meditate, and reflect — on this past year, or maybe the past decade. And my shadows whisper: “Your offers aren’t perfect. Your website and social media need more work. Wait until you’re ready.”
But wait for what? Perfection is an illusion. If I wait, I’ll never show up. If I never show up, I can’t do the work I came here to do. And people who might need me will never find me.
So I choose to jump. Because the cost of not jumping is far too high.
There’s a quote I once heard: “You can be scared and do it anyway.” That’s been my whole life. And this moment is no different — it’s just bigger.
What about you? Are you pushing through life by controlling, worrying, gripping tightly? What if now is the time to peek inward, to sit with your shadows instead of fighting them? To ask them what message they carry?
You don’t need to hustle harder. You need to look deeper — at where your energy is blocked, where it’s draining you, keeping you small.
This is the season for slowing down, for observing quietly. Before the new year rolls in with resolutions, marketing campaigns, and quick fixes designed to remind you of your “failures,” you can simply sit. In fact, studies show that around 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February — a pattern first documented decades ago (Norcross & Vangarelli, 1988) and confirmed in recent surveys (Forbes Health, 2023).
One minute today. Two tomorrow.
There’s no right or wrong in what you feel. If it’s too much, put it on paper — draw it, write it — and let it rest until you’re ready to return.
And if you’d like a companion on that journey, feel free to reach out.